I feel fat

Which is slightly better than feeling sick which is what I’ve pretty much felt since Tuesday, when I chucked up quite spectacularly. But let’s start from the beginning.

As you know I wasn’t particularly enamoured by pregnancy at the start of the week. In fact I still wasn’t entirely convinced I was avec bebe which I’ve read is actually quite normal because it’s difficult to imagine there’s anything in there until you see it for yourself. So in the run up to the scan on Tuesday I was quite relaxed. I have however realised that I’ve become quite hostile to other pregnant women. Maybe because you’re all in the same boat or because you don’t want to know what’s coming or when you see lots of other mums to be you don’t feel very special or unique.

Anyway, it’s all very chilled in the maternity day unit and not many people around by the time we get there. Dr P takes us into a darkened room at the end of the ward where there’s a couch with a big machine next to it. You role up your top just below your ribs and role down your skirt and tights to your bikini line and she squeezes gel, which isn’t as cold as I imagine, onto my belly then with no warning or explanation picks up a hand held presses it onto my tummy and BOOM there it is – a baby on the screen.

And it’s just sitting there, waving it’s arms and kicking it’s legs and she points out how it’s got all it’s limbs anis digits, two halves of the brain. Now it’s moving all over the place and she basically has to chase it around my tummy, showing us it’s stomach and kidneys and the most amazing view of its spine, it looks like a little dinosaur with a ridge down it’s back.

She takes screen shots as we go and takes measurements, head to bottom it’s about 9cm long

14weeks + 2 days

which is massive considering it’s just inside me – how does it have so much room to squirm around. And then she locates the heart and puts her cursor on it, turns the volume up and BOO BOOM, BOO BOOM, BOO BOOM there’s it’s heart. I almost jump, it’s completely crazy to hear it and suddenly it feels like there really is something g hibernating inside me. A proper little thing which looks amazingly like a human even so early on. Tom’s engrossed by the screen and we continue to watch it frolicking around until it’s had enough and starts to chill out again. And from that she can tell it’s 14 weeks and 2 days and a due date of 4 September!

Then we go to the ante-natal unit for the ‘booking’ appointment which is basically when the midwife takes all our details and background – health, drinking habits – and discusses options like home birth, birthing centre or labour ward. So many things to think about. We get the most amount of bumpf you’ve ever seen, packs of samples and books and leaflets put together by companies. And my yellow book which has all my notes which I’ll have to take to all my appointments and when it comes to the birth.

And in order to test for diabetes I have to drink a whole bottle of lucozade an hour before they take blood to screen for all sorts of things. I warned them I have a propensity to faint but they seemed quite confident so I went along with it. Tom held my hand, the needle went in, the blood started to come out, I felt the blood rush from my head and suddenly I’m having the most fabulous crazy dreams and then to’s tring to wake me up and I’m getting a bit annoyed that he’s interrupting these amazing images and then I realise I’ve passed out and come to with the midwife and Tom standing over me and the lady who’d been taking my blood standing in the corridor traumatised. After that they lay me down for a bit, we called mum to come and get us, I puke up the whole bottle of lucozade in a bin just outside the ward and again on the way home on the grass verge and I’ve been feeling pretty grotty since.

But we’ve started to tell people now, just close family and close friends. And I’m wearing the top you bought me because I’m feeling fat and wanted something comfortable. Phew, i think that’s about it for now. B+

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