The expansion begins

As you may know up until now I’ve been very conscious of the fact that I’m not really showing. Yes my waist line has expanded but I put that down to increased fat and organs being shifted around by this new growth in my belly. But tonight as I got into my pyjamas I realised I couldn’t pull my belly in! Previously when I’ve made the effort it all fit nicely in my pelvic cavity and although a little rounded my tummy was relatively flat. But no longer. Ok, it may have something to do with the 250g rib eye steak, potatoes and broccoli I just had for dinner but it doesn’t feel like that. There’s a proper little solid thing in there – and it’s not a poo!

New clothes

What beautiful new clothes I got today! At this rate I won’t have to buy any maternity clothes myself, hopefully they’ll all arrive for me via delivery and I can just enjoy wearing them! Thank you, they’re gorgeous and nunu especially liked the skinny jeans. They’re in my “waiting to get really fat” draw.

On another note I know I’m feeling better because this afternoon I made banana and chocolate muffins and a banana loaf with the thousands of over-ripe bananas I had that mum left me when she went away. I haven’t baked since before Xmas. And also apart from a slightly swollen belly and the cocktail of colic acid, vitamin d and iron concoction I take every day, I don’t really feel pregnant and am waiting to a) get a bump, b) feel movement or c) hear the heart beat again on the ultrasound. Very weird that the first 16 weeks of pregnancy I’ll always associate with nausea but now I’m in a bit of limbo waiting for the next stage to kick in. I suppose not wanting to touch meat should be a pretty good indicator! I could murder a rare steak!!

Back to normal

week15+5days

Having had a really rotten last couple of weeks I woke up on Friday and it was as though it had all been a bad dream. No headache, no nausea, I was out of bed and bounding to work. Amazing to have my energy back, although I am obviously getting through it a lot quicker because by the end of the day I’m shattered but in a good way. Up until now I’ve not felt like I had any energy to start with.

And of course thinking back now everyone said ‘wait until week 16’ and you’ll start feeling better and I had thought what prays, why is everything going to suddenly change at week 16, but it did!

Still having difficulty with food, feel nautilus going into our kitchen, which isn’t great because it means Tom is doing nearly all the washing up and the contents of the fridge are piling high. Not interested in vegetables that look like vegetables, give me carrot soup or mashed potato and I’m fine but whole broccoli and boiled veg are the devils food. Also gone totally off meat (and possibly fish). Tom made a sterling effort with beef burgers, muni tried stuffed cabbage leaves and mum a steak in tomato sauce but apart from forcing it down, I wouldn’t choose to do it again soon. oh no – what has happened to my carnivorous side? Even chicken is a no go.

Pasta is excellent though, especially when someone else has made the sauce. Just had dinner with nunu, she’s hilarious with all the bits she tears out of the newspaper for me. The most recent being ‘why breast feeding makes your child more clever’ and ‘singing lullabies (not nursery rhymes) to your unborn child helps develop it’s language skills’. Apparently a babies aural capacity is the fastest thing to develop so they’re all pressuring me to listen to classical music. Do you think playing the radio in the car counts? How loud exactly does it need to be? Should I press my belly up to the speaker? The telegraph doesn’t give you that sort of useful information, does it!!

I feel fat

Which is slightly better than feeling sick which is what I’ve pretty much felt since Tuesday, when I chucked up quite spectacularly. But let’s start from the beginning.

As you know I wasn’t particularly enamoured by pregnancy at the start of the week. In fact I still wasn’t entirely convinced I was avec bebe which I’ve read is actually quite normal because it’s difficult to imagine there’s anything in there until you see it for yourself. So in the run up to the scan on Tuesday I was quite relaxed. I have however realised that I’ve become quite hostile to other pregnant women. Maybe because you’re all in the same boat or because you don’t want to know what’s coming or when you see lots of other mums to be you don’t feel very special or unique.

Anyway, it’s all very chilled in the maternity day unit and not many people around by the time we get there. Dr P takes us into a darkened room at the end of the ward where there’s a couch with a big machine next to it. You role up your top just below your ribs and role down your skirt and tights to your bikini line and she squeezes gel, which isn’t as cold as I imagine, onto my belly then with no warning or explanation picks up a hand held presses it onto my tummy and BOOM there it is – a baby on the screen.

And it’s just sitting there, waving it’s arms and kicking it’s legs and she points out how it’s got all it’s limbs anis digits, two halves of the brain. Now it’s moving all over the place and she basically has to chase it around my tummy, showing us it’s stomach and kidneys and the most amazing view of its spine, it looks like a little dinosaur with a ridge down it’s back.

She takes screen shots as we go and takes measurements, head to bottom it’s about 9cm long

14weeks + 2 days

which is massive considering it’s just inside me – how does it have so much room to squirm around. And then she locates the heart and puts her cursor on it, turns the volume up and BOO BOOM, BOO BOOM, BOO BOOM there’s it’s heart. I almost jump, it’s completely crazy to hear it and suddenly it feels like there really is something g hibernating inside me. A proper little thing which looks amazingly like a human even so early on. Tom’s engrossed by the screen and we continue to watch it frolicking around until it’s had enough and starts to chill out again. And from that she can tell it’s 14 weeks and 2 days and a due date of 4 September!

Then we go to the ante-natal unit for the ‘booking’ appointment which is basically when the midwife takes all our details and background – health, drinking habits – and discusses options like home birth, birthing centre or labour ward. So many things to think about. We get the most amount of bumpf you’ve ever seen, packs of samples and books and leaflets put together by companies. And my yellow book which has all my notes which I’ll have to take to all my appointments and when it comes to the birth.

And in order to test for diabetes I have to drink a whole bottle of lucozade an hour before they take blood to screen for all sorts of things. I warned them I have a propensity to faint but they seemed quite confident so I went along with it. Tom held my hand, the needle went in, the blood started to come out, I felt the blood rush from my head and suddenly I’m having the most fabulous crazy dreams and then to’s tring to wake me up and I’m getting a bit annoyed that he’s interrupting these amazing images and then I realise I’ve passed out and come to with the midwife and Tom standing over me and the lady who’d been taking my blood standing in the corridor traumatised. After that they lay me down for a bit, we called mum to come and get us, I puke up the whole bottle of lucozade in a bin just outside the ward and again on the way home on the grass verge and I’ve been feeling pretty grotty since.

But we’ve started to tell people now, just close family and close friends. And I’m wearing the top you bought me because I’m feeling fat and wanted something comfortable. Phew, i think that’s about it for now. B+

Googly eyes

Apparently one of the side effects of pregnancy which I have never ever heard of before is that your eyes change shape! I actually guffawed when dad suggested it as a cause for my headaches but then I booked to see the gp this morning and she said the same thing. I say she but it was actually JT. I phoned to book an appointment, they offered me her and I thought who better to look after me, especially as I’m guaranteed to see her more than once, which I haven’t done with any other doctor at the surgery! It was fun. She calculated by EDD (go google!) as 4 sept although it’s likely to change with the scan next week. The gp shares care of me with the midwives so after about 25 weeks I’ll go to the surgery about once a month to have blood pressure checked and the height of my uterus measured! What? I could hear me exclaiming, although i didn’t say it out loud – i thought it’d be intriguing to find out what that entails later on.

I get free prescriptions while pregnant, free nhs dentistry and a book with everything I’ll need to know. Over lunch I tested dad on drugs and treatments, which I couldn’t catch him out on because he seemed to know the people who developed all the techniques still used for inducing labour and delivering the placenta. And then he started reminiscing about the days when he delivered babies and the lack of choice women had – including the common practice of shaving them before delivery to ‘prevent infection’. I thought a good wax and enema would be perfectly sufficient.

So I now have some exciting choices to make including – do I want an active or high-tech birth? Natural or medical pain relief? The option to tear or have an episiotomy (go google)? And most importantly T has to decide if he wants to cut the cord!!!! B+

if i ignore it…

there’s a very good reason I waited so long to tell you all i was pregnant and a very good reason why in all the weeks I’ve been pregnant I haven’t yet been to the GP. The first is that I hadn’t been intending to get pregnant so quickly so I really wasn’t prepared and the second is that I hadn’t been intending to get pregnant so quickly so it’s been easier to ignore it until I couldn’t ignore it any longer. No sinister reason. No delusion of invincibility (I’ve felt a lot less than invincible these past 3 months) and certainly not because I thought I could leave it all to the doctor in the family. I just haven’t wanted to have to think about it because I was just getting used to being married, finally living with Tom again and trying to get to grips with work. Now I’ll go to the doctor because it’s obvious the time has come when I can’t really get away with ignoring it any longer. b+

My what lovely boobies…

I have just come from admiring my boobs in the mirror after a shower. Not that I think I’d be able to hold a pencil under them or anything quite as dramatic but there’s definitely more than a handful. More importantly though, I thought I’d let you know I’ve booked in for a scan next Tuesday afternoon – all set up by our dear father. I have a whole booklet telling me what they’ll be looking for. I skipped the part about sickle cell and haven’t yet got to the what it actually entails – I’m quite keen to go in without knowing and for it all to be a bit of a surprise apart from what I’ve seen on tv – cold gel smeared over a tummy, slightly shocked partner cowering nervously next to the bed and audible gasp when they see a blur on the screen which as untrained sonographers they’re meant to be able to recognise as a foetus. What I do know is the scan will date it and along with a blood test will be looking fora signs of downs syndrome, which I read does not run in families, so I’m feeling a bit more relaxed about it. Woo hoo.